The Final Chapter

I was able to finish writing a Tagalog worth-reading post and even if it’s a long one I believe that it’s probably the longest post that I was able to write during the past months. It’s a good one though. I’ll post it later before leaving the condo to accompany my sister to the mall and go home to Cavite afterwards. I still have at least 2 hours to kill so I would most probably write another worth-reading post again.

I’m such in a good writing mood right now or in a good mood in general. It’s been a great day. As I wrote that post I’ve got my full concentration on it while listening to my playlist. Awesome. What a great day so far. I hope you’re having a great day too. :)

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One thing that continues to bother me is how easy I could talk to strangers online and how hard it is for me to talk to a stranger in real life. What’s interesting about it is that if you’re going to think about it we’re dealing with the same type of person here, a stranger that is. Some people here wouldn’t be as nice as they are to the people who will talk to them here if that happened personally. It might weird them out and they could probably ignore that person.

When is the last time that some random stranger actually talked to you in order to get to know you? I can remember that the last time something like it happened to me was more than a year ago. I was smoking at the common area in the condo and some guy approached me and asked me about the time. Then he sat across me, I really can’t remember if he was smoking as well but he immediately asked me about being new here and what do I do and stuff. Basically, we had an actual conversation. It was fun though.

I believe that the only way it worked that way is that I didn’t have my guards up. I answered everything that he asked truthfully. When he asked about what do I do aside from being in school, I said that I blog. Then he asked what do I blog about, I said that I blog about random things about life hoping that writing about it would make people aware about those things, what to do about it and how to do it. Stuff like that. Of course, it wasn’t all about me since I also asked him things.

The point is getting to know someone in person isn’t as harmful as you think it is. The problem is our generation due to the effect of technology raised our guards towards that approach. I mean, when’s the last time that you have heard of someone meeting a friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend because someone approached the other in a coffee shop? My point is some of us are limiting ourselves to this virtual world.

Why do we consider it to be harmful anyway? It’s because of the simple reason that we don’t know anything about that person except from the way that person looks. I believe that not knowing who a person really is terrifies us at some point. It scares us not to know and we might start to think that person could be a killer, a rapist or whatsoever that will do bad things to us. However, we fail to consider that the person could become our friend and could eventually be the one whom we’ll spend our life with. It may sound absurd but it could most certainly happen because even if I don’t know someone I’m sure that this already happened before.

Our blog speaks a lot for ourselves. It takes away the harmful mystery that is present when we approach someone in person because even if we’re technically strangers with each other in this virtual world we have the opportunity to read through each others’ blogs to initially get to know each other of who each other is. That’s what we get here, the background that sometimes takes away the opportunity for us to get to know each other better. I think that’s a downside of it. I mean, if you don’t like what you have read from that person’s blog then wouldn’t probably follow that blogger or talk to that blogger.

Then again we still feel secured because no matter what happens there’s a high possibility that we wouldn’t get harmed physically by a stranger from the virtual world, well at least not immediately. We can’t get slapped or punched here even if we talk shit about another person because we’re kilometers, miles or even continents apart from each other. Hopefully, you’re able to follow and you’re actually seeing what I’m seeing here.

I guess what I’m basically trying to say here is that don’t enclose yourself in this virtual world. It’s good that you have friends here whom you can talk to about anything. It’s good that you’re able to get to know different people here. It’s good that you’re able to socialize here. However, don’t forget about the fact that everything that you’re doing here in terms of socializing can also be done and should be done in the non-virtual world as well. And most importantly you should be open to the possibilities in the non-virtual world.

I’m saying this because in a way I’m also caught in this and I realized that I must break loose from this or at least I must mitigate my involvement in this. It’s not that this has a bad influence on me or whatsoever. No, it’s all about not letting myself live in this virtual world alone.

And in terms of blogging or being a blogger, be proud of it when you’re asked about what you do aside from going to school or work it’s something that would certainly make you interesting. I respect that if you want to keep your blogging private but for me since it suits my purpose for continuing to write or to blog, I don’t shy away from telling someone that I just met that I am a blogger and more importantly I’m proud about what I do here.

Lastly, don’t be scared about not having a background of other people that you’ll encounter in the non-virtual world. Lower your guards from time to time. Be cautious of whom to trust but give everyone a chance to show you who they are and don’t hesitate to share who you are.

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The rain ruined my plan for this afternoon. I still need to have my document printed at school and I planned to buy my late lunch there so that I would no longer cook. I already told my supervisor that I’ll drop by the office around 3:30PM - 4:00PM but I’m stuck here at the condo because of the strong rain. If this goes on then I wouldn’t be able to have the document signed today but tomorrow instead. So right now, I’m preparing my late lunch.

I just want to share about a dream that I had last night. I remember talking about to my elder sister about me having complex dreams lately and that I miss those simple ones wherein it’s just about a girl that I like. Last night it finally happened. I had a dream about this girl whom I really like but I’m quite scared to make a move on. At least in my dream I’ve seen that we’re having a good time together and we’re getting along very well but it’s just a dream. Also it’s her birthday today. I’ve always liked her ever since but yeah I’m just so hesitant to make a move because it could affect others as well.

Okay, it’s time to cook. I’m starving. Take care everyone. :)

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Wow! What a great Game 2. I could have gone somewhere, I’m just glad that I stayed home to watch it. The Rondo vs Chalmers showdown in the first half was quite entertaining. Of course, the 3rd quarter comeback and the late 4th quarter run by the Heat got me off my seat. LeBron did his thing and D-Wade broke loose in the 2nd half. Props to the role players of course but damn the Heat have to hit their free throws.

The Celtics played great and Rondo was amazing. He simply took advantage of anything he could get especially the uncontested jumpers. Their defense on Wade during the first half for a Heat fan, was scary. And Ray’s shooting was back and it was dangerous as well.

Big win to say the least. I’m expecting a better Game 3 from these two teams and I hope that the Heat would get that one as well. 6 wins to go! Let’s go Heat! :)

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I just talked about wanting to be productive and I was able to be tonight. I was able to start and finish a worth reading post even if it’s just an entry for the random turn on series, hey at least I was able to add on it. I was also able to modify and finalize my OJT project documentation that I will have printed and signed tomorrow. I might have it printed early morning prior to the via satellite telecast of the Heat vs Celtics game then I will drop by the office in the afternoon. Of course, things could change especially if I’m going to wake up late.

I also updated my playlist tonight wherein I added my newly downloaded songs to my original daily playlist. I just thought that the short playlist may have been a factor in that lazy stretch. I mean, the fact that the songs kept on repeating in a short time it made me lose track of time. Unlike when I’m listening to a longer playlist where once a song plays again then I must have been using my laptop for a long time on that day already. I also missed the genre shift that it has since my playlist contains few genres in it.

It feels great that I was able to start to get back on track. It’s 2:16AM and I’m quite tired already so yeah good night everyone! <:)

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There are very few people whom I know that can speak up to me to tell me what I am doing is wrong and what I should do instead. I made myself to be as independent as possible. I know who I was, I know who I am, I know who I want to be, I know what I did, I know what I am doing and I know where I’m heading. As I stress out the importance of knowing those things and as I live by it it’s pretty obvious that I’m no exception in going towards another direction that I shouldn’t be taking.

Maybe this is a role that could have been filled if my Dad is still alive. As much as I try to take a break just to look at what’s happening in my life and tell myself that I’m heading the right way or things have to change because I should be going another. Maybe I’m just good at talking my way out of things since I know what I am doing, I know when I’m wrong and I am capable of thinking of a solution for it. Therefore, people seem to think that I’m in control all the time and that’s everything’s okay but obviously it’s not always that way.

Even if I have a few of these people in my life it would certainly be great and it would totally drive me crazy towards a girl who will able to play this role as well. As I’ve said I constantly appear as composed and in control and no one can see through it at the moment and they will only know about it once I opened up about it. It would certainly be amazing if someone would tell me to tell whatever is it that is bothering me at the moment because she knows even if I’m going to insist that I’m okay she knows that I’m not. Of course, that’s only the beginning.

Because she knows that I’m not okay I believe it’s a given that she’d be open to listen to what’s wrong. It’s also a given that she wouldn’t judge me for it but she is capable of telling me of what I should do and even if it’s something that I don’t want to do she would insist and she would make sure that it’s what I will do without crossing any line. It’s somehow about knowing how to be in control of me but of course that would require her to be able to control herself as well.

My point is this is somehow connected to my first RTO wherein in a way she has to be Miss Independent. And if you’re going to think about it is connected to my second RTO wherein she should be speaking the same language as I am. Basically this is about doing what I am doing for others when I know that they are heading the wrong way.

There’s no guarantee that I would follow everything that would tell me to do. It’s not going to be like that but as always it will get me thinking if it’s something that I should do. This would be one of those things that we’d constantly argue about but it’s all about arguing about what’s the best thing to do at the moment. If not the best, it’s certainly the best kind of argument out there and it’s definitely something that I wouldn’t mind constantly having.

By knowing what I must do she would provide me that extra push that I constantly need. There are things and there are times that I actually know what I need to do and even if I know what I want to I would still go with what I need to and sometimes it takes time for me to decide but with someone who would push me to do what I need or what I want to do then decision making would be so much easier.

There’s a line though, a line that she should not cross or else it might trigger a conflict. It’s simply about restricting me to do something that I must do. Yeah, there are things that I would choose not to do for her but there are things that I must do and she have to understand that. It’s mainly about knowing the fact that what she’s giving me is just a reminder or an option but it would still for me to decide about what to do.

Even if I’ll go against her she would still support me no matter what decision I’ll make. It may sound crazy but it’s something that I would certainly do for her as well. It’s all about respecting each other’s decisions but being there especially when one knows that the other could have made a wrong one because sometimes in life we need to experience failures, defeats or mistakes in order for us to realize that it’s wrong.  It seems like I’m asking for too much here and it seems like it’s impossible to find someone who can fill this role but trust me I already met someone who can possibly do and I believe that she’s not the only one who can.

We all have a coach in our lives and as the player it’s still up to us whether to do what our coach tells us to do. Being a good player would not guarantee being a good coach. A good coach can bring out the best from his players even if success seems unattainable and will always be there to motivate his players after each loss.

Being with a relationship with someone is about sharing success and defeats and if you can’t be there for both then you should not be with them or you should not be in a relationship with anyone as of the moment.

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Last night I was frustrated with myself because I just can’t seem to stay awake so that I could study for my quiz today. I realized that I have been so distracted lately. I’m literally not doing anything that I’m supposed to do and I’m living everyday as if I don’t need to do something.

Consider this, despite being busy with school stuff and all before I still manage to post a worth-reading post from time to time but right now, the last one was when I changed my blog title I guess. Being able to write a worth-reading post give me a sense of fulfillment that on that day at least I was able to accomplish something. Even if there’s only a few who will read it word per word. It makes me feel good about myself about the fact that I was able to finish it.

Today, I just took a break to rest because I really need one. And I sabotaged my exam earlier. I will create a layout of the things that I must do for the next days and weeks so that I’ll be properly guided. It’s what I’ve been doing for years and it continues to work for me. I’m not feeling any pressure right now. I’m feeling frustrated because I’m totally heading the wrong way.

It actually showed in my daily log posts here. Prior to this stretch I can absolutely talk about several things that happened throughout my day. Lately? Well, it’s been full of crap for the most part.

I miss being productive. I had enough of these distractions. I would certainly get back on track.

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I can’t recall the last time that I wasn’t able to post anything here for a day. Yesterday I was quite drained physically since I was still in Cavite and I had to wake up at 5:00AM which I did but as usual I wasn’t able to sleep well. I attended my class and I immediately went back to the condo. However, I went back to school since my best friend was there as well. We just hanged out there for hours but eventually I got really hungry so I just left them there. I slept early since yeah I was sleepy all day long.

Today, I was supposed to wake up early (like around 4:30AM) so that I can work on my research paper journal thing that I should have worked on last weekend but I woke up at 8:30AM. I immediately worked on it even while I was watching the Heat vs Celtics game (Nice win. Let’s go Heat!) then I just heated the sisig that we had last night and made some sauce out of it. Around 1:00PM I already took a bath and dressed up even if my class would start at 3:00PM. I finished writing the journal before 2:00PM. After it I worked on the PowerPoint presentation. I was able to finish it at 2:50PM and I left at 3:00PM here at the condo. Then I had it printed and photocopied when I got to school but it turned out our professor didn’t come to class. What a waste of time and effort. Hahahaha

So I still stayed there and I found my best friend with our friend while our girl friend invited me to have a milk tea at Moonleaf at the condo. Since today is a Tuesday I said okay. I had a Basic Wintermelon Tea and it really doesn’t have much of a difference compared to the milk tea version of it but it’s way cheaper. Actually the price was quite misleading because on their price list it’s supposed to be 55 Peso but on my receipt it was only 45 Peso. If it’s really 45 then I could actually go there 4 times a week and I’m still within my weekly milk tea budget. Interesting.

That brings me here. I plan to finalize my OJT document so that I could have it printed and signed tomorrow and probably have it defended soon so that I can do the revisions and submit it again so that I could change the incomplete to a complete status already which would make me have less things to think about. I also plan to write something worth reading but I will have to cook our dinner first and perhaps make some mojos as I told my sister earlier.

Such a great day to say the least and I hope you had a great one too. :)

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