Halfway through the first month of the new year I’ve been finding answers to certain questions but most of the time answers just lead to more questions. It was definitely a rough start but then again as I get closer and closer to finally ending the cause of this drought, I know I just have to suck it up and to continue to push more. Multiple paths and different opportunities await while I continue to strive in order to conquer perhaps the biggest obstacle in my life so far. Doubt, fear, hate and regret consumed me for some time but I needed to fight through those things in order to stand back up and to move along. My faith might get staggered but it will never fade. Never. That is why no matter how hard things were, no matter how much damage falling down and failing once again has caused me, I stood back up and now I’m fighting through things again.
Again, I apologize for not being able to post anything worth reading in here anymore. As soon as I finally break through this, I’ll definitely allocate some time for writing once again. I’m eager to share the things that I learned through this life-changing experience.
Stay safe everyone! Hope everyone’s doing great. :)
Ne-Yo || She Is (feat. Tim McGraw)
Michael Jackson || Man in the Mirror
So Long 2012
The year 2012 was definitely one hell of a roller coaster ride for me. The ups and downs, the twists and turns and there were times that I really was out of control. Ironically, my resolution for this was to regain control. Being in control certainly has its limitations. It’s not easy to maintain it and it’s even harder to regain it and most importantly there are certain things that are beyond our control. I may have failed regarding that part but it’s something that I fought against with for quite some time or maybe I was able to do regaining control in a different aspect and not the one that I expected.
Despite not being able to garner the amount of success that I expected to by the end of the year, it made me realize a lot of things and perhaps it changed the way that I looked at certain things as well. My failures for this year were really disappointing and the delay that it cost me time and time again was just frustrating but I knew that I needed to remain composed. It was really hard to suck it up at some point since more than 6 months of hard work on my part was shattered in just an hour. I had to stand up immediately and move along since I know that time was not on my side anymore.
For the most part of the year, I’ve been in control of my time in a sense that I don’t follow any class schedule anymore. It’s one of the biggest challenges that I had this year. It’s a matter of figuring out how I could be really productive in the 24 hours that I had each day. As I tell my friends regarding my situation they envied me but I told them they should not because if one is not able to control himself to resist procrastination and to continue to do what he needs to do as the temptations surround was not easy at all.
For this year also I felt the need to take over with regards to certain things. It’s all about knowing the fact that if I won’t do it then no one would. I got a glimpse of what to come in the near future and as I try to prepare for it I just know that it would take a lot from me. My preparations mostly happen on the mental aspect of things. Basically, I aim to be able to accept the situation as it is and not to find a way to go around it and to skip it because it’s basically the reality of it. It’s something that I’ll eventually deal with no matter what I try to do to escape it.
The final stretch of the year has been the toughest for me. It’s mainly because it’s the time that I’ve been so disoriented. At this moment, I feel like my mind is going to explode. I have so many thoughts in mind right now but they’re all over the place. It’s been that way several times this year and of course it’s something that you don’t want to experience really often.
What I know is that all my hard work and my sacrifices would eventually payoff as long as I wouldn’t give up. I know how tough this year was and it wasn’t all that bad. There’s one person who I’ve met this year that I would forever cherish. To finally be with that person is something that I always wished for since the day we’ve met. Unfortunately, we still have to wait. I do thank God everyday for letting me meet you. I look forward to the years that we’re going to spend together. No matter how unfortunate this year was for me, meeting you will forever be the brightest silver lining that I’ll always see.
2013 is going to be awesome. Unlike this year wherein I know what to expect and what I’ll be dealing with for the most part, my foresight on my 2013 is just around 20%. A lot of things would happen and I’m sure that it would be one hell of a year once again. I’m excited for this year as it does feel like a new beginning for me. At some point my college days would end and I would start my career. Once I start that new chapter I know things would be different from then on.
2013 is going to be tough due to the uncertainties. Therefore, aside from getting better in any way every day, another resolution for me is to be able to accept, to be able to adjust and to be able to flourish with the new roles that I’ll be gaining this year.
Happy New Year everyone! I hope that everyone would have a great year! :)
I’m so scared now, I really am. I’m so scared about failing once again. Once again I’m giving it everything that I could but once again it may not be enough. I have failed a lot of times and time and time again I just tried to make up for it but this time it’s just that I don’t really want to fail anymore. I’m so scared to fail and to let those people who continue to support me down once again.
I’m so frustrated with myself right now. Maybe I’m just dealing with a lot of pressure that I ignored but it’s now time to face it and to deal with it and I feel like being caught off guard once again even if I’m not. It sucks that I really try to give it everything that I could for at least the last 6 months but still I can’t manage to conquer it convincingly.
I’m just so scared right now. I know that I should not stay down because of this because if I do then what I’m scared of happening would most likely happen. Right now, it’s just me and Him who can pull me up from this since the people who can help me are already asleep.
Right now, I can only do what I can and hope that it would be enough.
What’s up guys? Wow been inactive for quite some time. As expected I lost a hand-full of followers. No worries though. Anyway, I really haven’t had the time to write for this blog lately. In fact, my focus was so on my thesis prior to Christmas day and it made me not feel the Christmas spirit as much. Oh well, been trying to regain focus during the past couple of days.
I do hope that around the 2nd - 3rd week of January I’ll start to be active here again. It’s just that I really need to focus on my thesis right now and during the next 2 weeks. I do hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas.
Just dropped by, take care everyone. I’ll be back soon.
In A Relationship: Another Shot
There is no perfect relationship. Sometimes a relationship must end in order for the two people who are involved in it to see what they are missing and that is the person whom they want to spend the rest of each of their lives with.
I attended a couple of weddings that each involved my eldest sister and a cousin of ours respectively. And in the reception it was both revealed and it could have caught some people by surprise that each of them had their relationship with each of their partners, their boyfriend back then and husband now but still ended up being together and most importantly, happy together. I believe that they weren’t the only couples who had that kind of history and they would not certainly be the last to experience such.
There are so many reasons why a couple would break-up. The lack of time, effort or understanding has certainly caused to put an end to many relationships nowadays. Cheating and getting cheated on could be one of the greatest reasons and perhaps the most common reason for relationships that ended. I do think that those aren’t that heavy as a reason to put a total end to a relationship as compared to some other reasons that I’ll talk about later. Why?
Here’s why, time, effort and understanding are always going to be a part of any relationships. So if you could not work it out because of those things it only means that you’re not ready to be in it. If you can’t manage your time wherein you can do what you need and want to do but still have time for your partner? If you can’t make an effort to make time, to make your partner happy or to simply be there for your partner when you’re needed the most? If you don’t even listen or you don’t try to understand the situation that your partner and you are in; you’re not entertaining the other side of the story and you couldn’t let the small things just pass by? Take a look at yourself first because even if you can’t do one among those then you are most certainly not ready to enter a relationship yet. Start with yourself first.
Now let’s move on to cheating, maybe I would make a separate post for this so that I could go deeper into it but for now let me just go straight to my point. Why would cheating or getting cheated on be a reason for a permanent end to a relationship? It’s simple, it’s called cheating because you need something but instead getting it from you or what you have, you try to get it or you get it from others. It simply shows that something is missing or that something is simply not enough. Keep in mind that you would not cheat if you are contented with what or who you have.
With that said, when you get cheated on, you should ask for the reason. You might have missed on something or you might have failed to do something for your partner or someone else just gives it to your partner more than you do? Nonetheless, if you really don’t want to let go of your partner then take it upon yourself to make-up for those things. You’re not perfect and none of us are so it’s perfectly normal not give everything but there are times that you just don’t know what and how much you should be giving and that’s important to know too.
As promised, in my opinion, here are some of the heavier reasons for break-up. The common reasons are religion and family involvement. Remember the 3 Yes? I doubt that you do but there is the second yes that refers to getting engaged. Now some couples, even those who have been together for quite a long time already does not jump into that immediately. Some couples on the other hand, the older ones usually eventually break-up because they still aren’t taking that step that they should have taken already quite some time ago. The unpreparedness to commit or the unwillingness to make that next step is something that could spell the end of a long relationship.
Religion could be overridden but only to those who are willing to but personally, it’s something that I don’t encourage as well. Family matters is a different story though, if you’re going to think about it yeah the two of you are happy but the people around you aren’t. We’re not just talking about ordinary people but those people are your family. Just imagine it, you are going to not let your family be a factor but you want to start one of your own. And you should listen to them because they were there for you ever since and they only want what’s best for you.
Resolving the issue to give the relationship another try is simple. First is to know the reason why it ended or it would end. Next is finding a solution to the problem. Third is to commit to performing that solution. Fourth is to perform and to validate if it is the solution to the problem. Fifth is not going back to the reason why such problem occurred. It may sound simple but it is so much easier said than done for most couples.
Personally, if my partner would cheat on me then I’ll ask why and if she would still choose me over him. For me those are the most important things to know. The reason I’ll ask why she did it so I would try to fill up that void for her. The second one is really something like I hope she’ll stay but if she’ll go there’s really not much I can do about. I know if she would pick him over me then maybe I’m not just good enough for her or she believes that she’ll be happier with him. It’s hard but it’s something that I would eventually accept.
If I’m the one who will ask for another chance to make the relationship work, it’s the same thing, I will not deny what I did and I will let her decide whether to let me stay so that we could still give it another try or not. Once I get that chance again, I would really do what I can to not to do what I did that almost made me lose her. But I think this is more painful since when not given another chance and I know that I can do better this time then that’s just hard to accept and there would be pretty much a lot of regrets on my part. But then it is what it is so I would eventually accept it and move along as well.
Giving chances is simply a matter of faith. As long as you continue to believe in that person then that chance is pretty much guaranteed. Faith, no matter how genuine it is still fades away. It’s important to know the reason for each break-up because if the reason is the same one as before then it only shows that your partner does not value the chance that you gave or worse your partner does take you for granted.
When you are to give another chance, ask for the reason and give it only if you want to because you don’t need to give it. When you are given another chance to make a relationship work, don’t waste it.
Faith VS Trust
Trust just like love is something that has been over magnified as an element in a relationship especially between lovers. Personally, I as well believe that without trust a relationship would not work anymore. I labeled it as one of the essentials to make a relationship work. And it has always been a common knowledge that once trust is broken it’s hard to regain and it would be the same as it was given the first time around.
It’s been a while now that I’ve been thinking about faith and one question that I have is how is related to trust? Or is it even related to trust? Then I realized that faith is simply a deeper version of trust. It’s so much deeper than trust that even without trust but as long as there is faith then it would only mean that you still believe that person. It is the reason why trust can eventually be regained wherein despite all the shortcomings and all the faults of the person towards you, you still don’t let go of them and you still give them a chance. In fact, it is love that often takes credit for it but what we don’t usually see that it is faith.
When there’s something wants to change and you continuously believe that the said change will happen that’s faith. Faith is more genuine than trust. Even if you trust someone, doubt is just around and it can strike at any given time. With faith though that doubt is so weak that it would just cross your mind but it would never wear down your belief towards that person. It provides and it generates positivity despite the negativity that is present.
When we talk about faith most of the time it is directly connected to it is our faith in God. Our faith in Him truly defines what faith is. The depth that it reaches is just extraordinary. We don’t see Him and there could have been times that we have doubted Him but at the end we know that He’s there and He will be there and He only wants the best for us.
Personally, I believe that faith is something that we develop. It is something that grows upon us and towards others. It’s what makes you believe that you can still conquer whatever challenge you are facing. It’s something that becomes stronger when we go through the hard times and most especially when we are able to survive that road block. Even if you fail but as long as you never lose faith there would be that glimmer of hope that is usually enough to keep you going. As long as you have faith you know that better things are yet to come.
Here’s a simple scenario that will show the difference between faith and trust: Let’s say you failed to something that you were told to. A person who only trusts you might not give you the same task again or would be hesitant to give it to you again because in a way you damaged that trust that person once had on you. A person who has faith in you will tell you that it’s okay, motivate you and perhaps teach you how you should do it next time. Once that same problem occurs and is waiting to get fixed, the person who has faith in you would not hesitate to give you another chance to do it.
When there are times that you feel like giving up but only ending up giving more in an attempt to conquer a particular obstacle, it only means that you still have faith in you towards that something or just simply yourself. When you have faith in someone, it’s just hard or merely quite impossible to give up on that person at that time. As long as you have faith, you’ll never give up. You might doubt and you might fail but at the end of the day you don’t stay down.
Faith is just something that is so beautiful to have. It’s just great. I can’t even help but smile as I wrote some of the previous paragraphs. I think the reason why faith is often overlooked is because those people who overlook it may only see it as something that is restricted to God. As much as I believe that among all it is He whom we should always have faith with, I must say that it is not restricted to Him alone. I believe He encourages us to have that same faith in the people in our lives and more importantly in ourselves.
As long as you have faith in someone and that someone has faith in you as well then no matter what happens, no matter how hard things would be I guarantee that you would not lose that person in your life.
Alam mo minsan kahit gaano mo kagusto intindihin o kahit kunsinthin ang isang tao, darating ang oras na magsasawa ka din. Magsasawa ka kakabigay ng payo bukod sa parang hindi nakikinig o ipapamukha na nakikinig pero sa huli ay sarili din naman ang susundin. Paulit-ulit na pagkakamali at akala nila sa dahil ibang tao o ibang bagay ang kaugnay nito ay iba na din ang kamalian na ginagawa nila.
Mahirap din kung sobrang haba ng iyong pasensya. Madalas naabuso ka ng mga ganitong tao pero minsan ang hindi nila alam nagpapaabuso ka para lang mabigyan sila ng pagkakataon. Halos di maubos na pagkakataon para magbago para sila ay magbago.
Oo nakakasawa din at kung minsan gusto mo na lang hayaan na, dahil alam mong nagawa mo na ang makakaya mo. Kung minsan maiisip mo na sobrang ignorante o sobrang makasarili ng mga taong ito pero dahil kung minsan ang mga taong ganito ay ang mga taong nakasama mo na ng napakahabang panahon, hindi mo din maiwasan na bigyan sila ng napakaraming pagkakataon para magbago.
Pero dumadating talaga ang panahon na ang masasabi mo na lang ay: bahala ka na, malaki ka na, alam mo na yang ginagawa mo. Sinabi ko naman sa’yo na tigilan mo na, hindi ka nakinig. Ikaw na ‘tong tinutulungan, akala mo ikaw pa ang pinaparusahan dahil sa tinatanggal ang isang kasiyahan na madalas ay panandaliaan lang. Ngayon nagsisisi ka dahil nahihirapan ka, sa susunod alamin mo ang mga posibleng resulta ng gagawin mo bago mo gawin o matuto kang makinig at sundin ang ibang tao na wala namang gusto para sa’yo kung hindi ang ikabubuti mo.